I have a confession to make. It won’t come as a big surprise to those who know me best or work with me closest.
Deep breath – here goes…
I have a hard time saying, “No.”
There, I said it. I like making people happy, and for as long as I can remember, I couldn’t stand to disappoint people or hurt their feelings.
In balance, that can be a good thing. Helps with the whole relationships and people skills thing and all. Out of balance, it can lead to some bad choices at work and some really unhealthy life choices as well.
In its ultimate expression, people-pleasers become codependents. Originating from our understanding of the behavior of the spouses of addicts, we have since learned that you don’t have to be involved with an addict to manifest that type of behavior.
Like the other three LifeVesting alter-egos – consumers, hoarders, and gamblers – pleasers twist a virtue into a vice. In the area of their life resources, they use their resources to buy love or approval. Often cloaked in an illusion of responsibility, these people give out of an unhealthy desire to “fix” someone they love, or rescue them (often repeatedly) from a crisis.
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