Preheated Tweets: Seven More Half-Baked Ideas I’m Still Working On

by Andy Wood on February 22, 2013

in Conversations, Half-baked Ideas

Man  and his dog reading newspaperIt was one of the early flashes of her wicked-strong sense of humor.  I was taking the twins to school during their sixth grade year.  We passed by the big-chain hotel on South Loop 289 when all of a sudden I heard Carrie bust out laughing from the back.

What was so funny?

The welcome sign at the hotel read, “Welcome Pest Control.”  Obviously it was some kind of meeting of some organization in that industry.  But I’m not sure that’s what you want to trumpet to the rest of the potential guests.

“I’ve heard of roach motels before,” she said, “but they must be desperate.”

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Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago.  We were having a conversation about one of her favorite subjects – Pinterest.

Me:  Do you know what Pinterest takes the place of?

Carrie:  Original thought?

I laughed so hard I forgot what my original thought was.

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Maybe this is where Carrie got the “wicked” in her sense of humor.  Grand Canyon University just announced the establishment of a new peer-reviewed journal.  The title:  The Journal of Non-Significant Differences.

I’m not making this up.

Now let me hasten to say that as a student-led journal, I’m quite sure this will have merit.  The idea is that “research does not have to be significant to provide valuable insight into ongoing scholarship.”  And that’s actually true.  If you think there is a statistical difference between A and B and you test for it and there IS no difference, that’s actually a pretty important finding.

But still… that name…  I keep asking myself, “Would I want everybody to know that I had been published in the Journal of Non-Significant Differences?”

If that works, maybe we can launch a few new titles.  The American Counseling Association may want to launch The Journal of Ineffective Therapy.  The AMA may want to try The Journal of Incurable Diseases.  We in the Leadership field may want to start The Journal of Status-Quo Management.  My son suggested The Book of Common Unanswered Prayer.  Or how about The Journal of Everybody Gets a Trophy?

Sorry… slow news day.

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Guess what has the same lifespan risks as being a raging alcoholic or smoking 15 cigarettes a day… and it’s twice as risky as obesity?

A lack of human contact.

Newly-published research suggests that “people with stronger social relationships had a 50% increased likelihood of survival than those with weaker social relationships.”

I’m not sure that Facebook counts.  Or Pinterest.  Nor do I think this research is a candidate for the Journal of Non-Significant Differences.

Turns out Proverbs 18:1 really is true.

You can read the research here.

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“One finished, mediocre idea will make more more of an impact on the world than four half-finished, brilliant ideas. I’ve done the math.”  -P. J. McClure  (More here.)

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So you think you’re smarter than your dog?  How many times has your dog stepped in dog poop and tracked it inside your house?  And the dog has twice as many feet.  And that’s a statistically significant difference.

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Why it’s dangerous to reason with a two-year-old while driving:

Cohen:  Papa, will you turn and crash into that car?

Me:  No, I’m not going to crash into that car.

Cohen:  But I want you to.

Me:  Why?

Cohen:  ‘Cause I want you to.

Me:  Why do you want me to?

Cohen:  ‘Cause I do.

Me:  Well if I crash the car you may get hurt.

Cohen:  I won’t get hurt.

Me:  You may get hurt.

Cohen:  I won’t get hurt.  I will laugh.

Me:  You’ll laugh?

Cohen:  I will laugh.

Me:  Why would you laugh?

Cohen:  ‘Cause I will.

Me:  But if I crash the car it will tear it up.

Cohen:  Will it be broken?

Me:  Yeah, it’ll be broken.  And it’ll cost a lot of money to fix it.

Cohen:  It will be broken?

Me:  It’ll be broken.

Cohen:  Will you fix it?

Me:  No, I can’t fix it.  I’d have to take it to somebody who can fix it.

Cohen:  Where would you take it?

Me:  Nowhere, because I’m not going to crash the car!

Cohen:  But I want you to.  I will laugh.

Me:  (Speechless… I was already laughing)

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Martha Orlando February 22, 2013 at 2:54 pm

And, you had me laughing with this one! Wonderfully entertaining, Andy!
Blessings!
Martha Orlando´s last blog post ..” . . . Rose Bud . . .”

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