Is it too much to ask you to actually solve the problem?
I guess if you can’t amaze us with the outcomes, you can always astound us with the obvious.
If fixing roads doesn’t work out for you, maybe you should consider a career in journalism. It’s a similar skillset.
Or maybe politics.
Then the three signs would read:
Rough Road, Vote for me.
Rough Road, Not my fault.
Smooth Road Ahead.
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